Spiritual Formation

Faithfulness 2020

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What is your faithfulness? This is a question I’ve learned from the Quakers this year in my spiritual direction training. It’s a gentle question that orients me in confusing situations, carries with it the whisper to look to the triune God for all, and welcomes me to drop into my unique selfhood. It isn’t a mandate, another link in the chain of “should” that weaves and pulls through my life. It is a question asked in trust and respect, honoring the wisdom I’ve gained, acknowledging the weaknesses and limits I have. There is space in it. As my social media has exploded with proclamations of […]

Courage

Dealing with Internal Intimidation

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I redirected my energies from my contemplative work into hospitality mid-April. It was to be a two-week hijacking, then a return to the regular route of days. But the pressures and demands didn’t relent. The attempts to incorporate new ideas and habits from classes, the convergence of three young lives summering with me, and some major emotional upheavals suctioned me into silence on my blog. Daily I remembered you and prayed, aching to write, yet simultaneously adding another daily granule of doubt or criticism to the weighted blanket of shame encasing me. Shame casts imposing shadows and augments reality into mocking illusions. As a young […]

Beloved

How Do I Know God Loves Me, Personally? My Journey to Knowing I Am Loved

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I bided my time as she squeezed me tightly to her, warmth rising at the closeness, and stared listlessly at the jumble of envelopes, scratched notes, and flyers askew on the counter, a lone pen lolling against the backsplash. Punctuating a smile on my face to meet her shining welcome as she released me back to my own presence, I felt relieved with the return of the little gulf that buoyed me to safety. I keep to myself. It’s less awkward, less dramatic, and less demanding. I don’t feel immobilized like I do tight up in someone else’s power, even when it’s a loving power. […]

Giveaways

New Year, New Website, New Offerings

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Welcome to the new year and a new space here on the internet! I’ve crafted this new website to better reflect my heart, which is to serve your soul’s needs as you serve in Jesus’ name all around the world. As you can see, I’ve changed the name of my site to www.kimberleymulder.com (which was always the address) and encapsulated my intent in the tagline “Sustaining your soul as you serve.” Everything I do here is a companioning with God and you so that you are more deeply rooted in Jesus. The deeper and better connected we are with the creator, lover, and sustainer of […]

Attitudes

Courage Gains Strength in Stillness

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Nascent courage feels much like a sprig of hope, slenderly strong in the cold earth rising to the call of the white light above. Fragile, yet powerful, in its miniscule multiplication, cell upon cell of mitochondrial factories. Scoff not at the small beginning. Trample not the greening of an idea under the solstice of God. He rises, like the sun, for just such a reason. He bends his power, as the sun sends its rays, to this greening earth to call forth these courageous beginnings. Sometimes a seed lies long in the dark earth, then someone “happens” to kick a clod away, just enough to […]

Attitudes

When Fear Holds Hunger in Its Teeth

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Last week I wrote about how I discern the voice of fear and the voice of Love. This week we are starting our month-long focus on “Hunger” and how it pertains to a centered life. I am sharing from my personal experience and hope that it stimulates your hunger for God! I have written the following in truth and love, especially for my heritage. It is not glamorous, in fact, it may be painful to some. But I am trying to illumine what God has shown me as He has wrought more freedom into my life. I pray for your freedom as you read. I […]

Encouragement

A Perfectionist’s Story Discerning the Voices of Fear and Love

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“Perfect love drives out fear, for fear has to do with punishment.” 1 Jn. 4:18 NIV The type of fear John speaks of is the paralyzing, cowering kind that all people feel in the face of threats, violence, abuse and other evils. It is an oppressive, jailing kind that arises from the deceitful one, Satan. But Jesus came to free the captive (Isaiah 61:1). The deceiver tailors his language of fear to his listener. To some he speaks in soft tongues, to others in sharp. The point of anything fear says is to control and bully, to keep the hearer from knowing freedom and love. […]